Dear America, Thank you.
Thank you for the good life.
Thank you for Amazon. I know half the time they don’t process my refunds. And pretty much every cosmetic item I’ve purchased was surely fake. But I still freak out at the thought of being in Australia and running out of shampoo. And having to physically visit a store.
Thank you for a political landscape more entertaining than the circus. Watching these “leaders” has really eased the pressure off what it means to be an adult.
Thank you for providing me with a husband that is willing to concede before I even start counting the votes.
Thank you for your loose definition of “uniform.” I spent weeks fearing my son wouldn’t have the right socks, or correct shade of blue shirt. Then I realized in this country such a word roughly translates as “No Logos.”
Thank you for Black Friday. It’s one of the few times I can feel truly American. As I excitedly wait for items I’ve needed for weeks to be marked up, and then labeled as 50% off, I get true joy knowing I am jumping on a bandwagon with everyone around me.
Thank you for the snow. I feel like the colder it is out there, the warmer the people inside become. Just don’t bump into us on the road.
Thank you for Kosher restaurants. Even though where we live they change ownership more times than I change my order, I’m still thankful to walk in and sometimes get what’s on the menu.
Thank you for flight delays. Their consistency and dependability has made planning trips so much easier. Just add seven hours of wait time to every leg of the trip. I have also mastered the art of kosher sandwiches in airport terminals. I got this.
Thank you for craigslist. While 90 percent of my time there has been a complete waste of energy, I found my current babysitter through the site, and for that I will forever be indebted. I also sold a dining set worth $1000 for a tenth of its value and felt like a baller for a week straight.
Thank you for rap music. There are not many places in the world a Jewish, religious white mother can drive in her black SUV with gangster rap blasting and it still be socially acceptable. Or not. Whatever.
Thank you for your freedom of speech. Even though a different Jewish blogger gets blocked every Monday and Wednesday for pointing out anti-Semitism in the media, and you have to think seven times before stating your political association (if at all), I still feel lucky to share that I prefer chocolate over vanilla, and napping, over, well, anything.
Thank you for block parties. Never in history has there been a more awkward occasion than neighbors coming together for a social gathering despite having nothing in common other than their geographical location. Awkward grins and annual photo aside, I do feel lucky to live on a street where this is actually a thing.
Thank you for completely corrupting the definition of “transitioning.” I used it in a conversation with a mother in reference to her teenage daughter and I’ll be damned if she ever talks to me again. Political correctness: 0.
Thank you for Twitter. It’s so nice to think that in a big, confusing world, a social media site exits where the polarization of both sides of the aisle is enabled with unfounded rhetoric and quotes taken out of context. The inability of both right and left to see left or right fills us with great hope for the future. It’s also great for staying on top of the news in the light you best like to see it.
Thank you for providing candy at every turn of the road. After a haircut. At the doctors. Post- swimming class. This way my kids can get introduced to cavities early on in life and be saved the shock of discovering it as adults. It also teaches them that if they so much as sneeze they will be aptly rewarded.
Thank you for drive- thru Starbucks.That’s it. Just thank you.
Thank you for soccer leagues that forbid cheering for your son or keeping score. This has made the whole teaching kids that life's not fair concept that little bit more challenging, but I hear where you’re coming from. I guess that’s why he wants to come back next season.
Thank you for Thanksgiving. I think we all can agree on this. All in all, it is a pretty awesome day. One that people from all walks of life can enjoy in their own way. It’s like a Yom Tov, but with phones. So if all else fails, you can escape and watch insta stories of other people doing the same thing… Or showing you how great their life is, either way.
For real though, thank you, America. For a lot of things. For caring about the plight of the Jews. Our history is filled with governments not only turning a blind eye to our struggles, but actually formalizing it as part of their policies
From the obvious examples of the Holocaust, to the earlier cantonist decrees of the Russian czars, to the Ukrainian government requiring Jews to register as recently as three years ago. And so much more.
Thank you for the responses of both government and community to the tragedy here in Pittsburgh. To say we felt supported is an understatement. While there will always be room for improvement, today let’s say thank you for the progress that HAS been made.