Watching Marie Kondo With Your Husband: A Poem.

February 14, 2019

”Tidying up with Marie Kondo” is the hit new Netflix series based on the best-selling book “The life-changing magic of tidying up.” It utilizes the Konmari method developed by Kondo which draws on Japanese culture to deal with decluttering and organizing.
 

 

It started with a favor.

 

From him to me.

 

Can we watch Marie Kondo?

 

I asked so gleefully.

 

He looked at me quizzically,

 

And kind of knew he had to say yes.

 

Saturday nights were reserved for couple time at best.

 

The Netflix logo stretched across the screen.

 

I was sure I had lucked out, or so it seemed.

 

 

She came in like a fairy, and whisked the couple’s problems away.

 

A neat house, uncluttered, is all you need, they say.

 

She sorted and sifted, while he watched attentively.

 

Only checking his phone occasionally.

 

At least he’ll get the idea, I thought.

 

Not expecting too much action as a result.

 

Twenty minutes in, my eyes started to close.

 

He fulfilled his duties, to turn it off early, I chose.

 

 

The next morning, Sunday descended.

 

With its regular madness and the house upended.

 

I escaped to the gym, my sole salvation.

 

Burpees and crunches beat disorganization

 

Coming home, I made my way upstairs.

 

Dodging Lego pieces, odd sock and open drawers.

 

Into my room I stepped joyfully.

 

A few more moments of peace, I took advantage of entirely.

 

 

What awaited thereafter was truly a shock.

 

From last night’s short show, my husband had taken stock.

 

His wardrobe, the first target, was decreased by half.

 

It seemed there was quite a few items he didn’t love.

 

“Don’t these shoes you wore once spark joy?” I protested.

 

On a roll, he had no time to defend what was wasted.

 

Next was folding, and sorting and color coordination.

 

Is this what I envisioned? I started to question.

 

 

Pushing away any negative thoughts,

 

I decided to embrace the cleanliness this brought.

 

As the kitchen received its turn of damnation,

 

I celebrated a Sunday free of frustration.

 

Isn’t this what you wanted all along?

 

A partner to help in all that goes wrong?

 

An equal in cooking, and cleaning too.

 

Gosh this must be what all girls pursue.

 

 

The Sunday progressed unlike any before.

 

Somewhat speechless I watched as the house became a tour.

 

This is nice I kept saying.

 

Despite being completely weirded out.

 

Marie Kondo, is this why you’re making millions throughout?

 

 

But then push came to shove and there was no turning back.

 

On his bed sat my blanket which spurred a flashback.

 

The kids had been building forts earlier that day.

 

The blanket they had not put back, to our dismay.

 

“Is that yours?” He asked, trying to sound relaxed.

 

“I made my bed this morning.” He continued half mad.

 

 

THAT was the straw on the camel’s back.

 

“LISTEN UP”, I started, trying to keep my cool.

 

This is my house and you don’t set the rules.

 

I cook and I clean and I’m home most of the day.

 

So it’s my rules we’ll go by, you won’t have a say.

 

I’m the mom, I’m the wife and if it’s OK with me.

 

Then you can be sure it will be OK with our family.

 

 

He looked at me puzzled, confused and sad.

 

Isn’t this what you wanted? Am I really that bad?

 

No, no, I’m thankful for all your help, really.

 

But when it comes to the house and the kitchen and toys,

 

Please understand this is MY white noise.

 

If it’s messy right now that is OK,

 

You can be sure it will be fixed at one point in the day.

 

There’s a system in place and I’ve got it figured out,

 

Just a small helping hand is all I wanted no doubt.

 

 

He looked at me still unsure what to do.

 

What does this mad woman want from me, NU?

 

All day she whines about the big mess.

 

Then I take charge and it only brings stress?

 

 

It’s complicated you see.

 

There’s a lot that I want.

 

Sometimes I’m not even sure what that is.

 

I’d like help but I’d also like to stay in the lead.

 

So next time I ask for a helping a hand.

 

Just smile and nod, even if you don’t understand.

 

 

And as the day’s events came to a close.

 

It was I that was left with the mess to dispose.

 

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